Ah, relationships. Can't live without 'em. They add color, variety, and new dimension to life. Sometimes, though, relationships-- even with those we value most-- send us swirling into emotions that can be difficult to control. End result-- major stress.

You've heard it said before, that communication is the key to maintaining positive, healthy relationships. Indeed, the right kind of communication can alleviate and stop stress before it even starts. So what's the key to this magical, effective communication?

First off, never accuse. Bottom line-- no matter how well you think you know someone, you can't read his heart. You don't know all her past experiences, all the pain of her childhood, etc. So don't accuse your loved one of thinking or behaving a certain way-- period. Don't presume to know his motivation for acting in a particular manner.

We are all basically trying our best to make it in life. Most folks aren't deliberately out to get you or make your life miserable, no matter what a situation looks like on the outside. We're all in survival mode from time to time, and some of us live there! So don't assume that the other person deliberately set out to hurt you. One of the ways you can rapidly alleviate stress in your life is to choose to assume the best about others. Assume they're trying their best to live life as well as they can.

Listening comes in a close second here. Have you ever met someone who zeroed in on you and what you were saying, who focused intently on you? It's exhilarating, if not a bit unnerving! You can tell if someone is waiting for you to finish your sentence so they can start talking. You can also note when someone is listening to hear you, really hear not only your words, but their meaning.

That kind of listening makes folks feel important. Cultivate the art of powerful listening, and you'll be well on your way to reaching communication nirvana.

Think about this-- we're talking about communication, and haven't even said a word yet! Aha! Herein lies a great secret. Sometimes the most effective communication involves not saying a word!

The next little tip I learned from author David Augsburger. In his book Caring Enough to Confront: How to Understand and Express Your Deepest Feelings Toward Others, David shares that you always start your sentences with "I feel ..." or "I felt..." Never start a confrontive conversation with the word "you". You'll end up striking out before you even pick up the bat.

These simple tips make a profound difference in getting along with others. If you're interested in more resources for alleviating stress in relationships, check out Gary Chapman's book The Five Love Languages and the eye-opening book Nurture by Nature. By being proactive in the communication arena, you can diminish stress in your relationships and replace it with encouragement and trust.