Do you know what I hate more than gyms?

GOING to a gym!

But when I finished working on a recent project about osteoporosis, I knew I needed to take action now to build my muscle strength and protect my delicate bones.

I run 3 miles a day with my dog, Jaws. So I’d give myself a “10” on the cardio scale. But as far as building muscle strength, I’m a big, fat ZERO.

And now that I’m in my forties – ok fine, LATE forties – I don’t want a “hump” in my future!

My fitness plan came together at a recent graduation party. My friend Anissa, a mild-mannered, very toned woman in her early 30’s, told me she decided to put her Masters degree in Exercise Fitness to work by starting her own in-home personal training business.

PERFECT!

I could kill three birds with one stone: Strengthen my muscles … give the economy a boost by supporting a home-based business … and help out my friend Anissa.

I told Anissa I had one life-long goal

I wanted to do a pull-up.

Are you laughing at me?

I’m not kidding. I just want to do ONE, stinkin’ pull-up! Here’s why …

Remember back in high school when we had to participate in the President’s Council on Fitness Program?

If you could score high on a bunch of exercises, you would get a really cool patch with an eagle on it. That meant you were an official member of the President’s Fitness Club!

Man I really wanted that patch!

I imagined my mom sewing the patch on the left arm of my favorite t-shirt and I would wear it proudly.

But you know what?

I scored high in everything …

… I threw the baseball farther than any other girl in my class … broke the class record in the 100-yd dash … jumped through the hurdles … and kicked butt in everything else …

… except the pull-up bar.

I couldn’t even do one.

And I didn’t get my patch …

… for 3 years in a row!

I don’t think I’ve gotten over that disappointment. (Obviously I haven’t – I’m still talking about it today!)

So Anissa now knew my personal goal and she said we would make it happen!

Yippee! Sign me up!

My first workout was a killer –
and it only got worse …

My mild-mannered friend turned into “Anissa the Assassin!”

Man, she worked my butt off – figuratively and literally!

I just knew I was sweating blood!

But after just 3 sessions, I built enough arm strength to do 4 modified pull-ups (that’s where you sit on the floor and use your arms to pull your weight.)

I haven’t reached my goal of a full pull-up yet, but I’m getting close!

Now I LOVE my workout sessions – and I’m even seeing some signs of “guns” in my arms. Plus, I feel and look better than ever.

Anissa showed me that adding a little muscle can go a long way to experiencing real health. But she reminded me of an even bigger, more profitable lesson …

You’ve got to pump “muscle” in your copy too!

If you’ve been reading The Total Package for the past year, you’ve probably figured out I often find copywriting lessons in everyday life. And this is no exception.

Anissa reminded me that endurance is good, but without muscle strength – you’re only getting half the job done!

I can easily write long copy. In fact, delivering 50 pages to a client is a snap. But if that copy doesn’t pack a powerful PUNCH – it’s going to bomb!

So, here’s how to put some muscle
into your next writing project –
and increase your odds
of delivering a kick-butt control

Here’s one of the most effective ways I’ve found pump up copy: Tell
a story.

The human brain is hard-wired to relate to stories. And we’ve been conditioned since infancy to enjoy stories.

I started this article by telling you my sad and pathetic story of being a “pull-up wimp”. Just about anyone can relate to having an unfulfilled desire. Telling a story:

• Gives you visual imagery
• Helps you simplify a complicated thought
• Personalizes your copy
• Gets your point across
• Adds fun to your copy – remember bedtime stories?

So instead of spouting out the benefits of your product, turn it into a story instead. For example …

… I worked on a project about chelation therapy. Doctors use this procedure to treat patients with lead poisoning. But then, they discovered that folks with heart problems were also getting healed in the process.

Now, I could’ve used a list of bullets as a lead in to this exceptional product …

… Or I could’ve created a “scientific breakthrough” lead …

… But since I was talking mostly to 60+ year old, skeptical, males, I decided to go with a toned down, narrative lead like this…

“Dear friend,

It was 1948 and factory workers at the local battery plant worked round-the-clock to manufacture lead acid batteries for military and civilian contracts.

Earning a little over 40 cents an hour, the plant workers were grateful to help our Country recover from the war – and put food on the table for their growing families.

But what these 240 men and women didn’t realize was that they were about to make heart history …

… After years of heavy metal exposure, many of the workers developed life threatening cases of lead poisoning. Some received the bad news. They had just months – maybe a year to live …

… Others were more fortunate. They would slowly lose their vision, hearing and the ability to control their bodily functions. Their organs – including their heart and kidneys – would become damaged and eventually stop working …

… But fortunately, a few forward-thinking doctors heard about their plight. Armed with research from Europe these doctors offered the workers a potential cure – and their only hope for a full recovery …”

Did you notice the details in the story?

What was the year? It was 1948 – not 60 years ago. Is 1948 a magic year? Not really. I just made it up. I know the discovery occurred in the late 1940’s. I wanted to pinpoint a time in the mind of my prospect. I also made up the 240 men and women number instead of saying “over 200”. Why? Because being specific gives your story more credibility.

What was the hourly rate? My prospect can remember bringing home 40 cents an hour – the minimum wage in 1948 according to a Google search. I want them nodding their heads and saying, “this guy remembers too. He really knows me.”

Did you pick up on the intensity? I could’ve said “heavy lead poisoning will kill them”. But instead, I deliberately talked about the slow, painful breakdown of their body: losing their vision, hearing and the ability to control their bodily functions.

Notice the tug on the patriotic heart string? Not “the Country” or “their Country” but “our Country”. Many of these guys fought in World War II or were raising families at that time. I wanted them to know my doctor can relate to them. Patriotism is a strong and effective bonding tool!

How successful was this lead?

Well, the client is mailing millions of pieces – and after 2 years, the package is still going strong! (To make this sentence stronger, I should’ve said exactly how many millions of pieces.)

Unfortunately, I didn’t get the exact number in time for my deadline. But that’s another important lesson to learn: Some times, you don’t have exact numbers, but you can still make your point!

Here are a few more ways to add muscle to your copy:

• Become a “copy bully” and CLOBBER wimpy words! Weak words slow down your copy. Kill ’em dead! For example, why “say” when you can “exclaim”, “announce”, “declare”, “shout” or even “bubble over”? If you don’t already own a thesaurus – get one today!
• Create credibility up the whazoo! Which is more impressive: “Noted Scientist reveals” or “Nobel Prize-winning scientist Dr. Linus Pauling reveals”? Recognizable sources – prestigious institutions, noted individuals or impeccable track records add credibility bulk to your copy!
• Talk TO your prospect, not AT him! If you don’t – you’re going to lose your reader! Use analogies, hyperbole, colloquialisms, word pictures or whatever it takes to let your reader know you can relate to him because you: know who he is…what he’s going through … and care about him! A simple, “If you’re like me, you probably …” is a quick and easy way to say, “I know you”.

Put these tips to work – starting today – and I guarantee that in no time flat, you’ll develop the copy muscle you need to pump out kick-butt control after control!

Here’s to Creating Success Your Way!

Carline Anglade-Cole
Guest Contributor
THE TOTAL PACKAGE™